Monday, September 24, 2012

No Fear of the Future

"She laughs with no fear of the future, for her hope is in Me."

I have read Proverbs 31:10-31 many, many, many, many times. Growing up in church, all girls have. I never truly thought about just what one verse in particular, Proverbs 31:25, truly means to me until now. I am starting my junior year at Auburn University (War Eagle, y'all!) as well as starting a new major. Saying that things have been stressful is a huge understatement. I have been so worried about my classes, my job (most of the time the lack of a job), and all of my other obligations that I have forgotten the most important thing in my life, my hope in my God.

I never once thought that I could forget what all God has promised me: that He will always provide, that He will always love me, and that He will never leave me. To be quite honest, I have slowed to a turtle's pace in my walk with God, and for that I feel so ashamed. I have let so many things get in the way of what is truly important to me, my relationship with my Father.

"She laughs with no fear of the future,..."

This is the part that I struggle with the most. Why? Because I'm a worrier. It is my greatest talent and my weakest link. Like I previously stated, I am constantly stressing over what I need to do, work, just to keep the list short (because I can ramble on about this for hours). The things that I worry about most, I have no business worrying about. Why? Because God promises that He will provide, that He will give me everything if I give Him my everything.

"...for her hope is in Me."

For me, this is the kicker. What does it mean to have your hope in God? Not just your ehh-okay-why-not hope, but the kind that shakes you down to your core. The kind that even the slightest thought of putting your hope in something else, anything less, than God completely rattles you. That is what I'm lacking. The hope that scares me to death to lose and makes me ever so humble and at peace that I have. The sad thing is, I earnestly believed that was the hope that I had. I was sadly mistaken.

Just like the picture shows, hope is a one-way street. Everything that you have should be poured into God, your whole hope and your whole heart. The hope that is only in my God, the hope that believes in nothing less, is what I am desperately seeking to find.

Image: hope [Picture]. Retrieved from

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Do You Really Know?

I pose this question for no reason other than, I'm just curious. So I hope I don't offend anyone.

Do you really know me?

I asked myslef this question a couple of days ago. I've been trying to pin point where I am in my walk with God and I have been evaluating myself. I thought about how many times people have looked at my Bible and said, "Wow! It looks like a coloring book!" or hear me singing during times of worship and said "You have a beautiful voice". They may see or hear what I do, but they don't trully know who I am.

Someone from my home congregation told me a while back that they are proud of the young woman that I have become, that I am a good influence on the younger girls that attend there. However, if this person were to see who I trully am, they might think differently.

Yes, I go to church whenever I am at home. Yes, I try to go as much as I possibly can in Auburn. But that doesn't make me any more of a Christian than some colorful markings in my Bible. Just because I act right, don't party, don't drink, among other things Christians are not supposed to do, doesn't mean that I do the things I am supposed to. Things like, bringing others to Christ. That is one area that I fail at miserably. I'm trying to do better, but it's difficult to know where to start. Therefore I challenge you.

Hearing that I am a good example is great, but, honestly, that is not what I want to hear. I want people to challenge my knowledge of God and what he has done. I want people to ask me how I am in my walk with God. I want people to ask me who God is and I want to be able to tell them and not have to say "Hold on, let me get back to you on that."

I'm sorry if I went off on unrelated tangents, but I had to in order to get everything out of my head and into this post.

Saturday, March 5, 2011


What: Midterms / Test
When: Next week
How many? 5 Chemisrty, Pre-Cal/Algebra/Trig., and three (count 'em) *THREE* tests in Psychology.

While I was at work today, I started freaking out becuase I am under so much stress. I honestly don't know what I'm going to do. I already failed one Chemistry exam and I can't afford to fail another. I hav ebeen praying so hard that God will help me get through.

"God is my refuge and strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble." Psalm 46:1

Monday, February 28, 2011

Ready, Set, STAY!

Why do I feel as though all I have been doing lately is running? As ashamed as I am to admit it, I have literally been RUNNING away from God! I have been so wrapped up in my own little world that I didn't realize it until today.

It all started when I was driving home from Florence and I was listening to the radio. A song came on and these are the words that really pulled on my heart, " life in the review, I'm running from Jesus, not knowing where I'm going to..." I seriously had to pull off of the road because I was so shocked that these words could fit what is going on in my life at this very moment. I sat in the parking lot of a gas station for at least ten minutes just thinking about all of the hard decisions that I am going to have to make within the next few weeks: stay at Auburn or leave, what do I want my career to be, and is what I want to do in life part of God's purpose for me?

I want so badly to just be able to know what God's plan for me is that I can barely stand it! I have been at Auburn for almost two semesters, and so far the only thing that I know for sure is that I do not want to do engineering. I guess that's some kind of a break through... I need prayers that I can make the right choice, but most importantly that God's plan for me will be fulfilled.

It's time for me to stop running. I just have to be still.
"Be still and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10